DEALING WITH FAMILY DISSENSIONS

Dealing with Family Dissension

Romans 12:18: If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

                                                                                                                                                           

The family is a very important creation of God. It has therefore being the wish of most families to live in love, peace and togetherness and avoiding all occasions of wrath and discord.  But sometimes, there are occurrences of bitter dissensions between father and mother, husband and wife, parents and children and amongst children and amongst church members as a family. These dissensions tend to rob the family of the quality of happiness of the family.

What are the causes of these dissensions, what are the effects and how do we deal with these dissensions as Christians to restore a once happy family.

The causes

Family dissensions are caused mainly by:

·        Envies. eg. Cain & Abel (Gen. 4)

·        Greed & Selfishness. eg. in sharing family properties, you think you deserve all and no one else

·        Communication failures. Especially between husband and wife- one is not able to talk about burning issues.

·        Spiting one another i.e. looking down on someone.

Effects of dissensions

·        Bitterness, leading to, sometimes, murder. Eg. Ammon & Absalom; Jacob & Esau; Hagar & Ishmael

·        Death of a family member or infliction of a kind through curses.

·        Factionalism within the family.(matt. 12:25) leading to lack of growth and progress in the family.

·        Lack of love amongst family members.

·        Lack of true fellowship, especially in the church.

·        Inability to pray together or confer. (especially amongst couples)

·        It exposes the family to Satan’s malice.

·        Wayward children

Resolving dissensions

·        Keep up the love (1 corin 13). Patience, as a key ingredient of love, suppresses wrath. Eg. God and Adam.

·        Mortify pride and passion, which creates impatience.

·        Be silent when the other is angry. Restrain the tongue. Be slow to speak but quick to hear

·        Confess your fault and ask for forgiveness, if you are the cause. Tell your brother his fault and not do keep it (Matt.18:15-20)

·        Don’t take personal interest in resolving the dissension issue. Listen to both parties and show no partiality.

·        Ask God for wisdom to deal with such situations.

·        Be approachable and encourage people to communicate. eg. Husband and leader.

Conclusion

Gen. 37 tells the story of Joseph who was sold by his brothers to a foreign land. Although he was hurt, he forgave his family and restored peace in his family and thus fulfilling Romans 12:18.

May the good Lord intervene in families, groups, people and nations where dissention is causing us to be at each other’s throat. May the peace of God prevail in all broken families.  Amen!