ADOLESCENCE AND CHALLENGES

Most things go through the stages of growth and changes during its lifespan. For example, car, furniture, clothing, buildings, etc. all change with time i.e. they normally become old and the joy with which you acquired them diminishes.

Likewise, the human being also goes through growth stages and changes, with all its attendant problems. We grow from babies to adults and even kwashiorkor’s grow eventually. Throughout these stages of growth, come their attendant problems.

One of the critical stages of the human growth is adolescence. It is a stage where both the adolescent and the parent need to carefully manage the situation else it can affect the adolescent and damage the family peace forever.

What is adolescence, why is it important to be tactful during the stages of adolescence and what roles can we play, as parents, to help the adolescent child grow to be responsible for the family and society as a whole?

What is adolescent?

Adolescence describes the teenage years between 13 and 19 and can be considered the transitional stage from childhood to adulthood. It is also a transitional stage of physical and psychological human development that generally occurs during the period from puberty to legal adulthood. However, the physical and psychological changes that occur in adolescence can start earlier, during the preteen years (ages 9-12).

What are the challenges of adolescence or why is it important to note the adolescent stage?

Adolescence can be a time of both disorientation and discovery. The transitional period can bring up issues of independence and self-identity. Adolescence stage of development is important beacause:

1   . Sexual activity develops: menses and erections.  Desire for friendship with the opposite sex.

2   . Peer influence: sense of belonging is rife; spending more time with peers where bad habit are picked.

3   . Family Roles and responsibilities change:  more family responsibilities and demands for involvement.

4   .  Belief system development: shaping the thinking and beliefs which can be dangerous and risky if source is wrong. Being independent, they want to try new things and become rebellious.

5   . Alcohol and illicit drug use: temptation to use drugs and alcohol

6   . Media influences:  on thinking, body image, dressing, etc

7   . Difficulties in separating from parents: especially leaving for boarding school, etc.

8   . Generally, it is a time of rapid physical development and deep emotional changes. These are exciting but can also be confusing and uncomfortable for child and parent alike.

Taking care of the adolescent child

Most adolescents like their parents and get on well with them, though. Difficult times come and go, so it is worth remembering this when things are difficult. Parents may sometimes feel that they have failed. However, helping your children grow through adolescence can be profoundly satisfying and challenging. Consider the following:

1.     Make your home a safe base

Adolescent children are exploring life, but need a base to come back to. Home should be somewhere they feel safe, where they will be protected, cared for and taken seriously.

2.     Mutual support

Parents need to agree between themselves about their basic values and rules, and support each other in applying them. It is difficult for a teenager to respect parents who are always at each other's throats or undermining each other. A common trap is for one parent to ally themselves with their child against the other parent. This usually leads to constant trouble.

3.     Easy listening

Adults need to be a source of advice, sympathy and comfort. A teenager needs to know that his or her parents will not automatically jump down their throat with a judgment, a criticism or routine advice. Listening comes first.

4.     Rules

However fast they may be growing up, you are your children's providers and it is reasonable that you should decide what the ground rules are. Although adolescents may protest, sensible rules can be the basis for security and agreement. Hold them accountable and that makes them responsible. Give Them Something to Be Responsible For.

  5.     Set the example

Although they are becoming more independent, your children will still learn a lot about how to behave from you. If you don't want them to swear, don't swear yourself. If you don't want them to get drunk, don't get drunk yourself. If you don't want them to be violent, don't use violence yourself. If you want them to be kind and generous to other people, try to be like this yourself. 'Do as I say, not as I do' just won't work.

6.     Discuss Your Faith

Even though you want your child to go to church and grow closer to the Lord, are you discussing it? Some parents don’t, and it can inhibit a child’s spiritual growth. Make faith a part of regular discussions. Ask how God is working in their school and personal lives. Tell them how you see God working around you. The more you discuss faith the more the child trust God.7.     Be the ParentSome parents believe that they should be their teens “best friend.” However, most teens have friends. What they really need is a parent. Teens need someone to turn to for limits and discipline. They need a parent to set an example. They need a parent to offer unconditional love. While you should listen to your kids and talk about faith with them, teens still need you to be the parent in the relationship.

The Christian Parent’s exceptional role in the life of the adolescent child

The Bible commands parents to train and take care of the child throughout his/her life up to adulthood. There is a traditional saying that one is always a child until the parents are dead. Therefore it will be very irresponsible and sinful on our part, as parents, to raise our hands in the air and give up during these challenging periods of our children’s life. As Christian parents, we need to consult the bible, teach and guide our children right from infancy to trust and obey God. And when we are able to let them gain confidence in the bible, then we can use it as a source to train, rebuke and teach them life doctrines so they can grow into morally upright adults to take our place.

Conclusion

As mothers, we are the caretakers of the home and children. Therefore our roles in the lives of these children when compromised will cause a greater risk to their future. Mothers, let us pick up our roles as the first sight of moral training and education to adolescence and we will enjoy our adolescent children. Stay blessed!