Bitterness is a disease that can kill
physically and spiritually. It can even make you forever sick. How will you
feel if the man or woman you married all your life tells you one day it is over?
How will you see a person who lied for you to go to prison? How will you relate
to your business partner who took all the money without your knowledge? How will
you feel now, seeing the father or mother who made you lose your dream in life?
i believe you will not like to see these people who have wronged you. When
Jesus said in the last days hatred would increase, betrayal would abound and
the love of many would grow cold, He was not joking.
What
is Bitterness?
“Anger
and disappointment at being treated unfairly or resentment”. When
you are offended or disappointed by others and allow the hurt to germinate in
your heart, bitterness and resentment will take root. Bitterness is unforgiveness provoked. The
more we hold onto past hurts, the more we feel the pain and this
experience can rob us of the joy we can find in anything. (e.g. Jacob and Esau; Isaac and Ishmael;
Absalom and Ammon)
Evidence of bitterness
Bitterness starts
out small. We replay it in our minds, creating deep channels that will be hard
to fill up. We retell our hurts to any available listener, including each
sordid detail which enables us rally support, pushing us further into our
resentment. We hear the offending person's name and recoil. We interpret the
offense as intentional and our offender as full of spite. We look for other
reasons, both real or imagined, to dislike our offender. With each new piece of
information, we form another layer of bitterness.
We fool ourselves
into thinking no one will know, but anger and resentment have a way of seeping
into everything. Resentment is like a beach ball we try to submerge in the
water. No matter how valiant our efforts, it pops up with all its vitality, spilling
onto everyone around.
Bitterness is characterized by an unforgiving spirit
and generally negative, critical attitudes, hatred and self-defeating. They
will color your conscious and unconscious thoughts and actions. Allowed to
fester, they will destroy and kill. However, they can be dispelled with love.
How to
overcome bitterness
Romans
12:18 says, "If it is possible, as
far as it depends on you, live at peace with all men." So how can we live
at peace with everyone? How can we prevent bitterness from moving into our
hearts? How can we deal with our feelings instead of letting them grow into
bitterness? Read (Hebrews
12:14-15).
1.
Know
that God requires forgiveness.
God knew it would not always be
possible to live at peace with some people. That's why Romans 12:18 says,
"If it is possible …" But
God requires that we forgive others (Ephesians 4:31- 32). Our lack of
forgiveness is why we choose to hold onto bitterness and letting it ripen into
full grown resentment. (Read parable of the man who was forgiven a great debt
but he demanded his from another (Matthew 18:24-35)
2. Understand that we are to forgive because we are forgiven. You can discern a person is trapped in bitterness when their
first response is, "You don't
understand what they did to me." We may not understand, but Jesus
Christ does. He
lived a perfect life, but was beaten, mocked, spit on, and hung on a cross to
die a cruel death. Read (I Peter 2:23). (Luke 23:34). (Matthew 6:14-15).When we have an unforgiving
spirit, our eyes are not on him but fixed on ourselves. We don't have the capability in
ourselves to forgive others but God can empower us to forgive those who have
hurt us (Philippians 4:13). (e.g. Joseph
and Siblings)
3.
Study and obey the word of God to forgive. A remedy for the bitter spirit is the healing balm of the
Word of God. Taken in small doses over a period of time can release the
tortured soul to know love, joy, and peace from the Holy Spirit. Read: John 16:33; Psalm 51:10; Proverbs
28:13; Ephesians 4:26; Colossians 3:13
4.
Stop Dwelling and Retelling. When we are hurt, we have a tendency to turn the painful
events over and over in our head or tell anyone who will listen to our pain–even over and over again. It is
fine to talk to people we think can help us heal the hurt, facilitate
reconciliation or help us rebuild our lives, but other than that, we should try
to stop dwelling on the story of our injur and stop speaking of it so freely to
others. In doing this, you might find justification to resent more.
5.
Ask God in prayer
for grace to make you forgive. Tell God how you feel and how you have
been hurt but He should help you eschew bitterness from the situation.
Why eschew bitterness
1.
Bitterness can worsen or cause physical problems such as
arthritis, depression and other emotional stresses. You can be affected
mentally, spiritually and your relationships will always suffer because of
bitterness.
2.
Bitterness can lead to murder (e.g. Absalom/ Ammon)
3.
It can lead to family divisions/ conflicts (Isaac/ Ishmael)
4.
It can affect your fascial expressions and beauty. You always
frown your face at the thought of the issue
Conclusion
Living bitter-free is a choice, but the best choice is to be
bitter-free. There is more to gain if you let go than being bitter over the
issue. Finally, Pray for those you can't
forgive. Amen!
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