Thursday, January 12, 2017

Living a bitter-free life.


Bitterness is a disease that can kill physically and spiritually. It can even make you forever sick. How will you feel if the man or woman you married all your life tells you one day it is over? How will you see a person who lied for you to go to prison? How will you relate to your business partner who took all the money without your knowledge? How will you feel now, seeing the father or mother who made you lose your dream in life? i believe you will not like to see these people who have wronged you. When Jesus said in the last days hatred would increase, betrayal would abound and the love of many would grow cold, He was not joking.
What is Bitterness?
“Anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly or resentment”. When you are offended or disappointed by others and allow the hurt to germinate in your heart, bitterness and resentment will take root. Bitterness is unforgiveness provoked. The more we hold onto past hurts, the more we feel the pain and this experience can rob us of the joy we can find in anything. (e.g. Jacob and Esau; Isaac and Ishmael; Absalom and Ammon)
Evidence of bitterness
Bitterness starts out small. We replay it in our minds, creating deep channels that will be hard to fill up. We retell our hurts to any available listener, including each sordid detail which enables us rally support, pushing us further into our resentment. We hear the offending person's name and recoil. We interpret the offense as intentional and our offender as full of spite. We look for other reasons, both real or imagined, to dislike our offender. With each new piece of information, we form another layer of bitterness.
We fool ourselves into thinking no one will know, but anger and resentment have a way of seeping into everything. Resentment is like a beach ball we try to submerge in the water. No matter how valiant our efforts, it pops up with all its vitality, spilling onto everyone around.
Bitterness is characterized by an unforgiving spirit and generally negative, critical attitudes, hatred and self-defeating. They will color your conscious and unconscious thoughts and actions. Allowed to fester, they will destroy and kill. However, they can be dispelled with love.
How to overcome bitterness
Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with all men." So how can we live at peace with everyone? How can we prevent bitterness from moving into our hearts? How can we deal with our feelings instead of letting them grow into bitterness? Read (Hebrews 12:14-15).
1.     Know that God requires forgiveness.
God knew it would not always be possible to live at peace with some people. That's why Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible …" But God requires that we forgive others (Ephesians 4:31- 32). Our lack of forgiveness is why we choose to hold onto bitterness and letting it ripen into full grown resentment. (Read parable of the man who was forgiven a great debt but he demanded his from another (Matthew 18:24-35)
2.     Understand that we are to forgive because we are forgiven. You can discern a person is trapped in bitterness when their first response is, "You don't understand what they did to me." We may not understand, but Jesus Christ does. He lived a perfect life, but was beaten, mocked, spit on, and hung on a cross to die a cruel death. Read (I Peter 2:23). (Luke 23:34).  (Matthew 6:14-15).When we have an unforgiving spirit, our eyes are not on him but fixed on ourselves. We don't have the capability in ourselves to forgive others but God can empower us to forgive those who have hurt us (Philippians 4:13). (e.g. Joseph and Siblings)

3.     Study and obey the word of God to forgive. A remedy for the bitter spirit is the healing balm of the Word of God. Taken in small doses over a period of time can release the tortured soul to know love, joy, and peace from the Holy Spirit. Read: John 16:33; Psalm 51:10; Proverbs 28:13; Ephesians 4:26; Colossians 3:13


4.     Stop Dwelling and Retelling. When we are hurt, we have a tendency to turn the painful events over and over in our head or tell anyone who will listen to our pain–even over and over again.  It is fine to talk to people we think can help us heal the hurt, facilitate reconciliation or help us rebuild our lives, but other than that, we should try to stop dwelling on the story of our injur and stop speaking of it so freely to others. In doing this, you might find justification to resent more.

5.     Ask God in prayer for grace to make you forgive. Tell God how you feel and how you have been hurt but He should help you eschew bitterness from the situation.
Why eschew bitterness
1.   Bitterness can worsen or cause physical problems such as arthritis, depression and other emotional stresses. You can be affected mentally, spiritually and your relationships will always suffer because of bitterness.
2.   Bitterness can lead to murder (e.g.  Absalom/ Ammon)
3.   It can lead to family divisions/ conflicts (Isaac/ Ishmael)
4.   It can affect your fascial expressions and beauty. You always frown your face at the thought of the issue
Conclusion

Living bitter-free is a choice, but the best choice is to be bitter-free. There is more to gain if you let go than being bitter over the issue. Finally, Pray for those you can't forgive. Amen!

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