There is no place like home
says a popular adage. What then is a home? "A home is a place where one
lives with one’s family”. Generally, it is a place of refuge, care, comfort,
rest, security, help, love etc. – this is the ideals of a peaceful home! The basic foundation of any society is the home—so when
the home begins to break, the society is on its way to disintegration. This
problem does not make screaming headlines, but like termites, it is eating away
at the heart and core of our social and moral structure.
What then is a Peaceful
Christian Home? and how do we
keep the home Peaceful as God ordained it to be?
A Christian Home
A ‘good’ Christian home is one which lives by biblical principles
and each member understands and fulfills his or her God-given role. The family
is not an institution designed by man but created by God, and man has been
given the responsibility of stewardship over it. The basic biblical family unit
is comprised of one man, one woman and their offspring or adopted children. The
home can also include the extended family comprising the relatives by blood or
marriage such as grandparents, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles and
various in-laws.. One of the primary principles of the home is that the husband
and wife or father and mother are responsible for holding it together, irrespective
of today’s beliefs.
Roles of members of the Home
The family is God’s agency for populating the earth with people
who would love God and be loved by Him. It is to be formed exclusively through
a loving lifelong marriage covenant between a man and a woman (Genesis 1:26-28;
2:18,24). But what are the roles of the members of the family?
(1)
The
Father
Ephesians
5:22-26 provide the guidelines for husbands and wives
in a good Christian family.
What does God expect of the husband/father? (i) The husband is first and foremost called by God to love
his wife (Ephesians 5:25, 28-32). The self-giving love of Christ for the Church
is the model that the husband ought to emulate. (ii) the husband is called to honor his wife (1 Peter 3:7).
Many family problems between spouses and parents and children would be resolved
if these two principles alone were practiced. A husband must remember that his
wife is a joint heir with him of the grace of God. She is an expression of
God's favor and grace (Proverbs 18:22). Every Christian husband should view his
wife from this perspective of God’s extended love towards him. (iii) the husband is to provide
leadership as he models the Christian faith (beliefs and way of living) before
his family. He is to reflect in his life the character and virtues of the
Christian faith. This happens when he lives a life of integrity, faithfulness,
and obedience to God. The physical, material, emotional and spiritual needs
of the family are to be met by the husband and father to the very best of his
ability. (iv) He is to provide
security and protection for his family. There is no biblical justification for
not meeting these needs. It is his duty before God (1Timothy 5:8).
Both husband and wife are to lovingly fulfill each other’s
sexual needs (1 Corinthians 7:3-5). Each should seek to understand the sexual
needs of their spouse. The God-given gift of intercourse in marriage is much
more than a physical act. It brings a deep intimacy and oneness that unites a
couple and enriches the marriage. This intimate union in the marriage has a
positive and profound impact on the family and is to be shared only with one’s
lifelong marriage partner. Husband and wife are to
remain faithful to one another for a lifetime.
(2)
The Wife/ Mother
The
Woman was given to the man for the purpose of being her husband’s help-meet (Genesis 2:18-20)
and to bear children. (i) The
wife is called by God to love, respect, and be faithful to her husband
(Ephesians 5:22,23; Titus 2:4,5). (ii)
As a wife and mother she is to be a role model of godliness and do her best to
meet the family’s needs (Titus 2:4,5; 1 Timothy 5:14; Proverbs 31:10-31). The
Bible calls her inward character her beauty. She is to model purity and possess
a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:1-7). (iii)
She is to manage her home, speak with wisdom, and demonstrate prudence
(Proverbs 12:4; 31:26,27). (iv) She is to assist her husband in
nurturing their children. If the father is not a Christian she is to take the
full responsibility to rear her children in the ways of the Lord.
(3)
Children
What about the children? Do they have any responsibilities
toward their parents? The Scriptures indicate they do. (i) They should obey and
honor their parents (Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20; Exodus 20:12). Honor is
not merely a verbal affirmation of the parent, but a lifelong pattern of living
that does not bring distress, embarrassment, or reproach, but rather happiness,
pride, and respect for the parent. (ii) Throughout the lives of their parents,
children are under divine obligation to be a loving support system for their
parents (1Timothy 5:8) and God promises His blessings on those who honor their parents.
The Christian home should be a home where all members care
for each other. The emphasis of the bible’s view for the family is one of
mutual sharing, giving, and receiving. This occurs out of love, respect and
concern for others from within the family.
Threats to a Peaceful home
Today,
most Christian homes are in confusion/ crisis due to the lack of spiritual focus in the homes. .
Family time once used for prayer and Bible studying has given way to excessive
television viewing, career enhancement, entertainment, and other activities
that threaten the home. This
shift has had a traumatic impact on the collective values of today’s Christian
family/ home .Men and women are created in
God's image and likeness, and are therefore equally valuable in His eyes. This
does not mean, however, that men and women have identical roles in life. Women
are more adept at nurturing and caring for the young, while men are better
equipped to provide for and protect the family. Thus, they are equal in status,
but each has a different role to play. That is why we, as the home’s
stakeholders, need not default on the parts we play for a peaceful home.
Finally
Husband
and wife are to remain faithful to one another for a lifetime. This means that
divorce and living together without being married are unacceptable in God’s
eyes. Both parents are
called by God not only to meet the material and physical needs of the family
but also to instruct children in the things of God (Deuteronomy 11:18-21;
Proverbs 22:6). This will mean that parents discipline their children.
Appropriate discipline is not abuse, but an authentic expression of love and
concern (Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 29:15, 17;. Hebrews 12:5-11). Yet
parents need to be sensitive, not reacting harshly in anger, avoiding
expressions of discipline that would mar the spirit of the child (Ephesians
6:4; Colossians 3:21).
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